blood and chocolate (blc post)

having my sister here for the past week (mon-fri!) made me realize just how much not at home here feels yet. i don’t feel stressed in the apartment — like i am visiting somewhere and can never relax. it’s more home than that. but i guess after 5 years in one apartment and almost 10 years in one city it takes awhile before you start to feel like you are HOME. it’s so funny to me to think that the 220 pearl st apt is a spot that i felt so connected to.. i really did not like that apartment once jeremy moved in — too cluttered, and it was already a bit small for me to begin with. and i certainly don’t miss it. and i honestly don’t miss the city of pittsburgh all that much — i was ready for something new. but i think part of it is this apartment, not just the new city. the living room and kitchen are a great size, but the rest of the rooms are so small.. they just feel like they must be temporary.. our bed almost takes up the whole bedroom.. i feel like we’re sleeping in a dorm room. gus’ room is bit bigger, but it gets almost no light, and neither jeremy nor i can wake up so well in the morning when it’s still dark out. plus our room gets the most air too, which helps with how hot it’s been. but there’s not enough wood and it doesn’t FEEL homey.. i guess we’ll see how i feel in a few months..

but i definitely miss knowing people, and i miss being so close to my family. after living in the same city as my sister for the past 7 years, it really sucks not. i was ready for a break from being so close to family.. i was ready for jeremy and i to have a chance to make our way a little bit as a family without feeling the pressures of our immediate families.. and it’s nice to be a little bit of away for a change.. but then again, it’s hard too. i guess you can’t ever have it both ways. of course.

but the visit was very fun too! and gus had a big week! it’s the most time my sister and i have spent together since.. i dont’ know.. we both were in college? and as excited as i was for megan to come stay with us, i was a little nervous too.. i wondered if we would get on each other’s nerves or even fight like we used to. but in fact we did neither — i think it helped that from time to time one of us would take the baby while the other ate or checked email or showered.. and so from time to time we had a little bit of alone time away from each other which no doubt kept us from driving each other nuts like we might have.

it was fun to share all the fun gus things with someone, especially family. and there were so many things this week! gus is making leaps and bounds of changes and growings and laughings 🙂 he never ceases to amaze me. for a treat, we waited until megan was here to try cereal..!!! and he was very very funny. we put him in his new booster seat with a bib and mixed a little bit of the cereal with a little bit of breastmilk and each, me, megan, and jeremy, took turns feeding him. he doesn’t quite know how to put it back in his mouth to swallow it, but he tries! oh how he tries! it gets everywhere of course, but he still gets so excited when he sees the spoon coming his way. tonight he was cranking because i couldn’t get the spoon to him fast enough! hahahaha. he’s so silly. but the poor baby, 4 days of rice cereal made it very hard to poop, and so tonight it was only a tiny bit of cereal and mostly just milk to make sure he stayed in the habit. his little bum was sooooo red, poor fella.

and he’s sitting up more and more. and he’s practically SPEAKING! he can say dadadada now and bla bla bla. hehe. and yell HEY!!! or he’ll yell those other sounds or growl them. today he made a funny squeaking noise and i turned to look at him and he looked SO proud. he is starting to learn that sounds he makes attracts our attention. and today in the video store (the horrible excuse for a video store that is just up the street from us and therefore is the only reason we go to it) he was whispering some sounds, so i whispered them back, and he laughed and laughed. he was so impressed that i could make those sounds too.

and he’s getting to naughty. he knows how to play games and it’s hilarious. when we change his diaper he will immediately eat his feet, almost every time. and then sometimes when you try to pull them away from little mouths and hands, he laughs and laughs and holds tight, knowing that you want his feet and so trying not to let you get them. or today when he pulled out a clump of foucault’s hair, even though i was telling him “gentle, gentle”. he thinks he’s so smart. hehe.

we accidentally screwed up his afternoon nap two days in a row with our adventures, so friday afternoon was absolutely terrible for the bubba. probably a lot from being tired a little bit from not being able to poop. on wednesday it was super hot, so we decided to go to the sam adam’s brew tour during his nap (and he woke up when we got there, poor babe) because we figured it would be better to be in a/c for the day instead of the apartment — and they had no air conditioning!! and then right at the end of the tour, right before we got our free beer — they give you cute little glasses for a taste — one of these little twins behind us starting crying and it scared the hell out of gus and he screamed and cried and so we left. sheesh. we may as well have stayed at home. although, we did get cute little glasses, i guess. and then thursday we went downtown, hoping that gus would stay asleep as we travelled, but again, he woke up. we wanted to take him in the jogging stroller, but it wasn’t ready yet. so we had fun again, but it was a terrible nap for gus once again. but megan and i walked around and looked at fun things and it was a beautiful day and worth it… except for that whole oops baby missed his nap AGAIN thing. but today i made sure gus and i were home for his nap and tomorrow i will do the same and monday and hopefully poor bugga will get back on schedule. he went to bed at 5 pm last night and slept all the way until 7 am. and took three naps today. and probably will do the same tomorrow.

and we joked about how megan was too much fun, although we DID feel bad too. poor baby. when he is having fun he won’t go to sleep, so it was too hard when we were out and about to nap in all the excitement.

megan’s flight was delayed on friday so she got to stay a few hours longer and so i drove her to the airport instead of us taking the T, so it wasn’t nearly as romantic a parting as when gus and i dropped off my mom. which is fine, because i can’t take that kind of heartbreak too many times in the same season.

and megan brought the lost room with her and she and jeremy watched it every night and it was a totally cool and interesting concept, but too slow for me, so i only sort of watched. but i was too tired to try to type AND ignore the show.. i just can’t concentrate on two things at once anymore. but “we” are watching blood and chocolate and i guess since i am not really watching it i can type now. it’s nice; i miss the blog after a few days.


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