1 month

dear calum,

one month! that doesn’t seem so long and old until i think about how that means it’s been a whole month since your birth. and then i just think, wow. so much has happened since then.

we’re a family of four now. that feels so much bigger than “just” the three of us from before. more significant, in a way i can’t quite put my finger on. it also feels, in a way, that you’ve been here all along, even though we’re all still adjusting to the routine, it’s hard to imagine you as ever not having been a part of it.

you’re ever so much more baby than newborn. you’re becoming rounder and rounder in such a pleasing way. you make tiny, charming baby noises. little coos and grunts and things that only the wee-est of babes makes. you burp much less (HURRAY!) but fart more (BOO! already i eat almost no beans, no cabbage, few onions, and little garlic). you spit up less — although still out of your nose, poor guy. you poop 1-2 times a day (instead of ALL THE TIME like the first week or MOST OF THE TIME like the second week). you have a little bit of a schedule that i can understand, now. you sleep rather well at night, i can’t believe it. yes of course you nurse every couple of hours, but that’s nothing for us — i lay on my side and you lay on yours and we nurse and fall asleep. you don’t really seem to have much confusion about what’s supposed to happen– SLEEPING — in the middle of the darktime, and for that i am very grateful. you tend to start to get ready for bed around 6 and you tend to start your day around 6. that’s not too bad of a schedule at all. between 6-8 is your tough time, if you’re going to have one. you will pull off the breast and wail and then nurse and then wail and then nurse until eventually you fall asleep. but it’s never very long, not even as long as it takes your big brother to sleep, most nights, so now that i know that’s it’s just your wind down time, i don’t worry anymore that anything’s wrong.

i’m so relieved to have the first month over. i hate the first week: figuring out nursing together, figuring out poops together (i make tons of milk and forgot i had to block feed your brother and discovered this time that of course i need to do that for you too), figuring out sleeping. just everything. and it’s all so stressful. i worry about everything until your poops are yellow and i know how to respond to your cries (like your brother, you mostly only cry when you want to eat or when you are mad that you aren’t looking in the direction you want to look or if you have painful gas) and i know you are up over your birth weight (which, of course, also like your brother, you accomplished quite handily) and i know you don’t have/are over your jaundice (unlike gus, you barely had any jaundice at all, hurray!). the second week is ok: still establishing good pooping, catching up on sleep. the third week is much better: we all have a routine, the poops are great, everyone is getting used to the new sleep schedule. the fourth week is awesome: it feels like we have known each other for a long time now. and here we are moving into the 2nd month now. amazing.

your one month check up was great, of course. you are a beautiful healthy guy. i was looking forward to the visit, because you’d had a wickedly persistent rash right around your anus for about two and a half weeks. nothing we tried worked on it, and we tried everything we had: bum out time, a&d ointment, balmex, two kinds of hippie lotion, even monistat itch cream when it looked like it might be yeast. i read everything i could about diaper rashes and finally started worrying it might be an allergy ring since it wasn’t going away and it was just in the right spot. so i’ve been not eating any soy products for about a week just in case. THANKFULLY the pediatrician said it doesn’t look like an allergy ring at all HURRAY! and she gave us a prescription for a diaper rash cream that has your rash almost totally gone! HURRAY HURRAY! your poor little bum. we’re so glad it’s looking better, finally. plus i have to be honest, i want to make some ridiculously delicious cookies with soy products in them, ha!

the one real concern, though, is that you have a supraumbilical hernia. it’s nothing very serious or scary, but unlike a regular umbilical hernia (that’s right under the belly button, instead of right about it), which closes up by itself within the first one to five years without any treatment, supraumbilical hernias usually DO need surgery to close them up. there’s no rush to do the surgery, you have time to grow bigger and stronger, but it’s still frustrating to know that you probably will eventually have to have even a minor kind of surgery. ugh. still, it’s a long way off, and your papa and i are just crossing our fingers that it will be one of the ones that DOES close. and if not, at least it’s a quick and easy snip and tuck and then it’s over.y

you love the wrap, and even though you’re already demanding to be held and be held facing out by one of us when you’re awake more and more, you so far don’t complain a bit about being slipped in and carried around wherever we go. you’ve already been on countless swings and slides from chasing your brother around at the playgrounds and you just slumber through the whole thing. it’s going be a fun summer.

happy first month, beautiful boy.

love,

mama

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