we also have a 3 yr old!

goodness it’s hard to get a moment on the computer when i’m awake and it’s quiet these days.. there’s so much that’s been going on with gus lately that i’ve been wanting to post about, but i just haven’t been able to catch a spare moment.

he’s amazing. hilarious. brilliant. sassy. obnoxious. too clever. fanstastic.

three is AWFUL. not gus — gus is really more amazing and wonderful than he’s ever been. really fun and funny and sweet. but three. three is just evil. i haven’t read a book in a million years that explains just WHATTHAFRAK is going on in their pointy little heads these days, but some kind of foul fiend lives deep within the hearts and souls of three year olds. and it’s rough. for everyone.

we’re working on in. being as patient as we can — we know he’s just trying to figure a bunch of big stuff out and we’re trying to make that as easy and as fair as possible for him, respecting his abilities and holding him accountable for his actions and holding ourselves accountable for our actions. we’re working on not getting all “i’m big, you’re small” on his ass and to really try to see where he is coming from, to give him the right kind of attention he’s asking for when he’s “acting out” and to try to work with him as much as possible without either being mean or being totally permissive. it’s HARD. really really hard. we suck at it, a lot, but we try to own up to that too. apologize, and MEAN IT, and own up to our mistakes, when it’s called for. but hot damn he’s a challenge, some days. and it would be a hell of a lot more satisfying to scream at him or give him a good smack, some days. we’ve had tough times before, but these are the toughest by far.

they’re the most rewarding by far, too, which of course is the pleasure of having a child. the lows are low but the highs are SO HIGH. and we’re really starting to connect with gus on a lot of levels — not just with discipline (although it’s ALSO satisfying seeing this whole if-i-respect-you-you’ll-respect-me thing start to payback) but with every kind of discussion and activity. when we have good days they are SO GOOD. he likes puzzles and books and games so much. he just wants our attention and our love and it’s frustrating for all of us when he can’t get it as much and quickly as he wants it. a tough lesson, with a new sibling around. but also an important one, sibling or not. he’s growing up in a big way right now. and it’s hard for him too. it’s baby steps — we’re not asking him to start managing his own hedge funds just yet, but he DOES have to clean up after his own messes and spills, put his dishes in the sink or the dishwasher, put on his clothes and shoes, brush his teeth, wash his own hands and face after meals, etc. and he does all those things and he’s proud that he can, too, but it’s tough taking responsibility for things other folks used to do for you. growing up is the total pits, and i really do feel for the guy. we’re taking in day by day, though, and we’re all really trying.

and four is not THAT far away, right?


2 thoughts on “we also have a 3 yr old!

  1. Oh, no, I thought three is when things start getting easier! It sounds like you are doing a great job. I will be calling you for advice in a year.

  2. 3! wow! i am so looking forward to meeting this new bigger and older boy and the new litte wee one!!

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