awful awful awful

poor cal was up in bed while we were down watching a fraggle episode with gus. the monitor was on, but i didn’t hear a peep, even though i had expected him to wake up at some point during the show. i went upstairs to check on my late sleeper when jeremy and gus went up to pee and jeremy said “the baby’s awake.” i was surprised i hadn’t heard him on the monitor, but i thought well, maybe he’s just started noising around. and then i saw the bedroom door was closed and thought, hmm, he must not be THAT quiet if jeremy could hear him through the door. and then i went in and he was lying down all quietly and i thought, maybe he’s falling back asleep. and then i picked him up and he was SO. SAD. i mean SO. SAD. i have never heard him cry THAT SADLY before. it was heartbreaking. and then i saw that the monitor in the bedroom was unplugged. MY POOR BABY! i don’t even want to think about how long he might have been crying without us hearing him! UGH i feel so very, very terrible.

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