day 4

more working! good day. am tired. mama & me stinks. more tomorrow, hopefully.


weds was really nice. it was rainy in the morning, but our friend hannah came over, and she and gus played together/drove each other crazy for two hours while calum napped.

it had stopped raining by the time hannah went home , and calum had awoken, so i tried to talk into going outside (it was nearly 60 F out!). he did not want to go and we had an argument, during which i demanded that he understand that we “HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE TODAY IT IS YELLOW!!!” um, i meant, sunny. three days of single parenting was apparently starting to wear on me.

but we DID get outside for a bit and that was really really nice.

and that afternoon at four was gus’ first storytime theatre class at mama & me (linked above). he wasn’t sure he wanted to go. there would be lots of kids he didn’t know. it made him nervous. he didn’t want to go, actually. let’s stay home.

i talked it up, i explained how people we don’t know can become people who are our friends. how classes can be fun ways to do new activities.  how many people are nervous when confronted with a group of folks they don’t know and that’s it’s a totally normal, natural, and common feeling. that i would be there if he needed to just sit with me for a bit. that we could just try it for 15 minutes and then we could leave it he still didn’t want to be there.

eventually he decided that, okay, he would go and could he wear a costume? i said of course and we put on his skelewitch costume. and calum woke up on time and it was such a beautiful day that we decided to take the train.

we got there ten minutes early and no one was there yet but i wasn’t too nervous because i had just checked the website and confirmed the time and date and place.

and then the owner of the space showed up and said, “oh! i’m sorry — i didn’t get a chance to contact you. the class has been canceled. not enough kids signed up.” wait — what? i think i said something like, “oh”. and she said, “do you want a refund?” and i said “yes, i would like a refund.” and she said, “because you could put your money toward another class.” no, i said, i’d like the money.

she said, “you can go ahead and stay and play in the space today since you’re already here”. (she didn’t even bother to tell us that the class had been canceled until i’d already undressed both kids and myself from our outdoor gear and gus had started to play. it’s usually $10/drop in play group). and then said, “that’s too bad that there’s no class since you were probably planning to just drop  him off.” and she said this, as she said everything else, in the same tone of voice she might have used if we’d come to her ice cream parlor and they’d been out of the strawberry ice cream.

i just felt so bad for gus. i had been excited for the class for myself, of course, but we’d been having a good week and i hadn’t even expected to be able to drop him off for the first class anyway. i just thought he would think it was fun. and it was the first real sort of class he’d ever been able to take — yes we’d taken swimming, but he was so small and always so cold. neither one of us ever really looked forward to swim lessons. and soccer was awesome, but jeremy was one of the coaches and i was almost always there too. this was a chance for him to do something so different than what we usually do!

fortunately, since we’d never been there before, gus didn’t even know that playing in the play space wasn’t “class.” and it was nice to change up our afternoon routine for sure — although i would have chosen a colder afternoon to spend inside. on our way out he said “mama, that class was dumb.”

yea, buddy, it sure was.


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