2013. the year our family will become complete. not that we weren’t a family with just 4, or 3, or even 2, but something about this latest addition just makes everything feel fully rounded out for us.
or, it will do, anyway. frankly this is the least realistic feeling over all the pregnancies so far. i’ve started to feel some movements, it’s not that. it’s just hard to wrap my head around the unreality of actively haven chosen to drop one more bomb onto our nuclear family. with two under 6 yr olds keeping us busy, it’s hard to remember that there’s another one cooking along, waiting to add to the madness of the household. i spend a lot of days feeling rather awful, but chalking it up to not getting enough sleep or having too much work or too many arguments with stubborn 2 or 5 yr olds before i remember, that yes, those things are all obnoxious but actually it’s this charming little fetus growing inside of me that is the major contributor to my current misery. but we’re very excited when we remember what there is to be excited about!
at 18 weeks i am starting to feel more like a human than a science experiment again. as per usual, i actually seem to throw up more during the second trimester than the first. for this little one in particular, i am frequently, ravenously HUNGRY. like all of the time hungry. like i just ate two big breakfasts so it’s definitely time for a snack hungry. honestly, i find this to be quite a burden. i enjoy eating as much as the next person, but i have long since run out of ideas of delicious and healthy things to eat. and while many would relish the chance to eat a bunch of really terrible and delicious things to help curb the tummy rumblings, that never seems to work for me during pregnancy. i often enjoy loads of really gross treats in the last few weeks, but up until that point, my babies tend to want snacks that tend toward the healthy or at least savory end of the spectrum. and oh, let’s have things be MEALS by the way, no skating by with granola or trail mix or fruit or veggies slices or frankly ANYTHING that hasn’t been sauteed or roasted or at least recently heated up in the microwave. although my appetite has slowed down considerably — considerably compared to the first trimester, not compared to a normal human — in recent weeks, the neat new accompanying trick is that, now, instead of starting to get hungry and therefore realizing i need to eat, my body decides instead that it is full, fine, everything is great no worries, just sit back and OMGWTFYOUNEEDTOEATNOWNOWNOW — forget it, too late, it’s time to puke your brains out now. it’s so gross/annoying.
we’ve decided to have a homebirth again. we have a lovely midwife pair and a midwifery assistant this time. we really liked these folks when we interviewed them for cal, and we thought we’d go with them — principally because our last midwife couldn’t order a few lab tests we wanted to have very easily and these midwives can, but also because i’ve gotten to know the one midwife in particular in the past few years and she’s quite lovely. we are quite pleased with our choice.
probably because of my insatiable 1st trimester hunger (with gus and cal i was almost never hungry for the first 16 weeks or so) i was up to a weight at 16 weeks that i hadn’t reached until 22 (cal) and 24 weeks (gus) before. it weirdly hasn’t seemed to affect my ability to fit into maternity clothes yet — i am still small bellied and didn’t start to wear maternity pants until about 12-14 weeks. earlier than with cal only because it didn’t occur to me to pull them out sooner last time around. but i still have to keep pulling things up over my little belly. it makes not announcing things yet rather easy, though, as i can still easily pass for someone who personally ate her family’s entire share of the holiday cookie exchange.
gus and cal are excited — inasmuch as calum understands what is happening, anyway. we keep getting books about being a big brother and having a new baby in the house. gus is particularly excited about helping out. calum is weaned and slowly being moved from the big bed to the sidecar. as much as the kids can be prepared, we are preparing them.
i still can’t believe we will have a wee tiny babe in this house in a few months (early june is the target range), but i’m really looking forward to meeting our new tiniest hero.