8 1/2 months

149 lbs. i can’t remember what i weighed by the end with gus and cal but this seems to be about right, maybe a little high? i started out at about the same weight with all of them (around 120, give or take a pound or two). i weirdly am still carrying it almost exclusively in my belly. 

it’s been sunny and mild but i have to wear sunscreen now or i will start to get burned — especially on my face. the freckles abound. i mean i normally get freckles easily but i don’t usually almost burn this early. sensitive pregnancy skin indeed.

i had a good break from heartburn for a minute there, but it’s back again. maybe the baby has grown a bunch these past couple of days (week?). our next visit is the home visit, so i won’t get weighed this time. i’m curious about how big this little one is going to be at birth compared to the other two peanuts. and how tall. and what color hair. and what kind of hair. and everything.

this one still moves quite a bit and that makes me so curious too. i didn’t get to feel gus and calum’s movements as quite as distinctly as i feel tiniest hero’s. it makes me want to snuggle this one especially. i want to know you, tiny baby.

but now i can’t eat much at all before i’m so very full. for ages. the family is disappointed that i’m not so interested in dessert, so there has been none. this is a big change from the first two babies, where i was eating frosting or other gross things at the end. needing more fat, maybe? and yet this time i have not gained much fat and i don’t want to eat much fat. pregnancy is so curious.

i am feeling kind of fabulous. this is also strange. calum and i are doing a decent amount of walking these days, but i think the key here is that i haven’t been doing much just standing. i did a lot of standing today and it wrecked my back. it just ached when we got home. i did some stretches and a hot compress (which i originally heated for my sinuses, but they don’t care about the heat at all, so i put it on my back). i feel much better, but i will avoid being on my feed for any kind of extended period for these next few weeks.

i have a wicked wicked cold right now. just severely congested so it’s hard to sleep at night. i can’t smell *anything*. anything like, lavender and eucalyptus haven’t helped because i can’t smell them! even with the bottle right under my nose! i tried to do a neti pot — the water wouldn’t even enter my nose. i haven’t gotten desperate enough to try a decongestant — i’m already so dehydrated from being pregnant, the weather being beautiful, and having this cold that i just dont’ think i can deal with being even more dry. i hope i’ve hit my peak of misery and will start to come out the other side in the next day or two. i even have a bit of a cough this time around. and chils! sheesh. but not fever at least, i guess.

the baby moved since the last appointment. i mean, moved sides. after weeks — months! — of being on the right side (and under the placenta), the midwife found tiniest hero on the left side. still most likely anterior, which is good news. i’d rather not deal with even a little bit of back labor again if at all possible, thank you very much.

i’ve had a surprising amount of energy. again, not like the last two times. some nights i am up until after 10 because i am not sleepy and i may as well not go to bed and deal with acid reflux one minute before i have to do so. and i’ve been occasionally been waking up before 7 all on my own. maybe i’m just feeling well rested? is this what it feels like? it’s nice, though, i feel much less cranky, and who doesn’t prefer mama when she’s not so cranky? mama included!

we’ve pared down all unnecessary activities, particularly in the evenings. jeremy has a few work obligations left and i still go to farmer’s to you. it’s been so lovely out that we’ve been having the kids come and run around outside for a few hours in the mild weather. i love this time of year. but mostly there i just sit, anyway, and we’re outside, which is nearly as restful as being home anyway. but jeremy is saying not to non essential activities and is even planning to leave a conference early this weekend because i’m pregnant i just want him home. no, i don’t think i’m going to go into labor, i just (a) particularly like having my fella around and (b) really am trying to shove most of my around the house duties off on jeremy right now as much as possible. he’s amazing of course and doesn’t mind and the kids love the extra attention anyway.

we have some food plans — a few dishes we plan to make and freeze and a few easy processed vegetarian things for the kids. i need to get the ingredients together for the cake gus and cal will make with their doula for tiniest hero’s birthday, and we’ll have some snacks around for the doula and the midwives that we need to pick up, but otherwise we are almost set with our food preparations too. and the diapers are washed and ready as well (even though we are using the impossibly tiny newborn diapers during the meconium stage first and would still have time for a good wash later).

the carseat is installed. all the supplies are in place. the camera batteries are charged. we’re about as ready as we can be. we’re at that point where it could either happen “soon” or “not soon at all”. the elusive EDD.

i’m not in a rush. the feeling weirdly good helps (even despite the miserable cold and the heartburn). knowing that this is our last pregnancy helps too. miserable or lovely, i will never feel these sensations ever again. that is a little sad. an end of a chapter in our lives, however welcome it may be. but we’re also so curious to meet this 3rd baby. i’m just trying to appreciate these last few weeks as much as i can.

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